literature

Obnoxious

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INEEDHELP-DRAWING's avatar
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Literature Text

See him sitting there,
In the middle of the crowd
thinking that he is fair
of figure, face, and so proud.
The girls look as is expected
but inside they are laughing;
'Look at that clouded
headed boy who needs a good breaking.
We should teach him a lesson
about boys and there ego'
I will playfully joke and he will glisten
and some one else should call him their Hero!
In the end we will not fall at your feet
but will chew you up all nice and neat!
In literature class we had to write a sonnet. (I had no idea where to place it because their is no sonnet classification)
I wrote this like a girl's view of seeing a high and mighty full of himself boy.

If any one is familiar with Celtic Thunder there is a song that they do that is titled 'Look at Me'. This sonnet I wrote in sort of a response to that.

The lyrics are here[link]
If you want to hear it go here[link]

and there you have it...^.^
It's my first try at a sonnet so I hope you like it.
ยฉ 2011 - 2024 INEEDHELP-DRAWING
Comments13
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saevuswinds's avatar
Hello, Im a critic from :iconwritersclub:

To make your poem easier to follow, I would double space the segments if possible. This is a pretty good sonnet, its an interesting concept. The title is simple and grabs the readers attention...the word ego' seems a little weird, but its not a huge thing, so dont worry if there isnt a word to replace it. I like the first third of your poem the best, and the ending with "all nice and neat" at the end is a little unsettling. Good job overall.